Weis Cracks and Crack Backs

I love the smell of testosterone in the morning. Smells like victory.
Been dreaming about Charlie again, Kayo?

Actually, the pugnacious Brian Poulian is my new man-hero.

John L. Smith said he was disappointed about last year’s flag planting because his players didn’t find the fifty yard line, a problem that re-emerged for his team during the second half of Saturday’s game.

To be fair, Smith’s offense crossed the 50 early in the 4th quarter. They were going the wrong direction on the way to 3rd and 42, but at least they crossed it.

Thank goodness Washington didn’t cross the Delaware that way or we’d all talk like Angel.

There aren’t but a three or four Irish defensive players I’d say had excellent games, but the list of those who made outstanding plays when it really mattered is quite long. Off the top of my head I recall great plays by Frome, Landri, Laws, Travis Thomas, Crum, Richardson, Ndukwe, and Lambert. Zbikowski made some great plays, too; but they didn’t count.

Any Zibby highlight reel should include both his punt return against MSU and his fumble return against OSU in the Fiesta Bowl. As with Rocket’s punt return against Colorado that was nullified by a phantom clip, it is important for future generations to know that Irish legends can only be stopped with an assist from the refs.

Listing the refs on the MSU depth chart was a bit much, don’t you think?

Headline from MGoBlue.com – Wolverines Open Big Ten Season With Comeback Win. Yep, those rallies from 7-0 first quarter deficits surely do stir the soul.

There’s a reason no one makes movies about Michigan football.

Have you forgotten about “The Big Chill”, that 1983 tale of a group of (I realize this is redundant) self-absorbed, Michigan alumni?

Was Joe Paterno hurrying to the bathroom when he left the field during Saturday’s game vs. Ohio State, or was he finally running towards “the light”.

He may have been running toward to the light, but it appears that the light evicted him bodily---undoubtedly to darker realms.

Like the Gameday set?

Bob Davie, who was inexplicably promoted to provide white noise between plays on ABC’s college football coverage, noted that Michigan State has Notre Dame’s number after winning seven of nine games before Saturday’s contest. Of course, Davie’s own 0-5 record vs. MSU is more indicative of whose number MSU actually had.

In his intro, Davie made a big deal about how Spartan Stadium was “a different place to play at night.” In reality, any time a Davie-coached team played at night, it ended disastrously, prompting his motivational slogan, “No more Saturday nights.”

It was either that or “Mostly ball.”

NC State got its first victory over a Division 1-A opponent, impressive because BC is one of the better teams in that Massachusetts high school football classification.

You jest, but John Swofford, ACC commissioner, is going to propose precisely this realignment at the conference’s next directors meeting.

BC fans will proudly tout the extension of their bowl appearance streak if they make the state playoffs.

I wonder if a sports reporter asked Drew Stanton if there was a time in the fourth quarter when he thought, “I’ve dropped off of the Heisman watch list.”

Indeed there was. As a follow-up question the reporter asked Stanton whether there was a time in the fourth quarter when he thought, “Terrail Lambert just jumped onto the Thorpe watch list.”

And Javon Ringer, John Masters, and Jesse Miller remain on the 50 yard line watch.

I see that Florida State got its offense going in a 55-7 victory over Rice, AKA the Temple of the South. Bobby Bowden was reportedly pleased when he was informed after the game.

Give Bowden more credit. The only time he doesn’t know what’s going on around him is when his players are involved in a felony or a NCAA violation.

It’s like watching Jed Clampett turn into Mr. Magoo.

Terrail Lambert didn’t take long to improve the quality of his highlight clip appearances, did he?

He’s on the verge of becoming Pontiac’s new spokesmen.

Would that get him in as much trouble as doing teasers for WSBT?

Kirk Herbstreit seems like a pretty nice fellow, but he must have done something awful to earn Saturdays with Brent Mussberger and Bob Davie as his penance.

Especially when you consider that he splits time between those two and the company of Corso and Fowler.

I wonder if Herbstreit knows he’s in hell?

It seems appropriate that three of the Spartans’ offensive players were guarding the 50 yard line against flag planting because MSU’s defenders couldn’t stop the Irish from doing anything after the third quarter.

I think it was a bizarre attempt at performance art: stand around and do nothing for 15 minutes. A perfect metaphor for the Spartan offense in the final stanza.

Meanwhile, John L. Smith maintains that his boys were innocent victims during the sideline skirmish because we know his guys wouldn’t be spoiling for some thuggery.

#4 West Virginia completed its sweep of non-conference opponents Marshall, Eastern Washington, Maryland, and East Carolina. Now comes the easy part of WVU’s schedule, Big East games.

You mean Eastern Washington and East Carolina aren’t in the Big East? What, exactly, are the criteria for belonging to that conference anyway?

I think the lofty standard is to not suck as badly as Temple.

Asked about the significance of his team’s come from behind victory over UCLA, Washington head coach Tyrone Willingham said, ”Today the soil is healthier though the farmer planted aggressively.” John Saunders nodded knowingly.

I think that was a misquote. In the corrected transcript, Willingham said, “Today the soil is healthier though the greens keeper planted aggressively.” Chauncey sticks to what he knows best.

Is that why Chauncey refers to each game as a round of football?

I can only think of one other guy in college football who routinely used his first name and middle initial, and MSU’s John L. Smith has a long way to go before he’ll lay claim to either the talent or the brains of Wossamatta U’s Bullwinkle J. Moose.

Does Chuck “D-Cup” Amato count?

If he does, it will only be for another seven games.

Next up in the world’s most classless prick competition – Joe Tiller. Good luck, coach. The bar has been set very high.

I think we should emulate Weis here, and take the high road. He doesn’t schedule the pricks; he just makes them look bad by comparison.

You and I are going to take the high road? Maybe I wasn’t mistaken about that flying pig I saw this morning.

Kayo
Bacchus
Kayo