If only there were a process by which one could become…
by FL_Irish (2024-01-14 08:25:14)

In reply to: I think you’re being sarcastic  posted by goirish89

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…the parent of an existing child rather than creating new ones via an arrangement with the moral pitfalls of surrogacy (not least of these, the potential for exploitation of the surrogate).

Well the Church also opposed Artificial insemination on the
by wpkirish  (2024-01-14 10:33:28)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Cannot reply

grounds that sex has two aspects procretive and unitive (emotional or spirtual) and dividing those is wrong. As someone whose children were born with the assistance of science i can assure the decison to reproductive technology is every bit as unitive as having sex and in some cases more so.

The decision to use those technologies does not just happen and takes a lot of discussion between the couple that is every bit as unitive as having sex. When we were going through the decisoin I reached out to a priest who was a long time family friend. I think he point is still a good one that what the Chruch doctrine is missing is the fact that what my wife and i were doing was a result of the same love of married couple having children having love every day.

I get that the Church does not want labs creating babies (neither do I) but I also will tell you the Church does not understand what it means to family's like ours.

As for adoption I can tell you we discussed that. It was not the right decison for us in part because an adopted friend had found her birth mom and we wateched pain it caused her adoptive mom, I have great respect for adoptive parents but not everyone has the emotional ability to do that.

I applaud you...
by Angel  (2024-01-14 11:23:33)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Cannot reply

...for understanding that it was not for you. Adoptees often have to bear the weight of their adoptive parents emotional wellbeing. It's entirely unfair as we did not choose to be adopted. If we need some kind of unification to heal our trauma, that is our right.

Edit: I am going to add an edit because that sounded much harsher than intended. It's no secret I am an adoptive parent, too. But you absolutely should not adopt without being open to and prepared for whatever the needs are to ensure the emotional wellbeing of the child, the one person in the adoption triad with no agency.

No offense was taken. I have relatives who have adopted and
by wpkirish  (2024-01-14 11:48:38)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Cannot reply

they have wondrerful relationships with their children who are simply members of our family. It was something that as a couple simply wasnt the right decision for us and quite frankly probably says more about us and our fears / personal shortcomings than anything else.