Their answer was to hire some contractor, who came to our house, unhooked everything, then just threw some new line on the ground.

The first Comcast rep decided to give my wife the runaround. My wife lacks patience and allowed them to hang up without resolution. I then called back and inseminated them. We had a technician and a $150 credit by 8 pm.

You have to make it very clear to them that you're: a) not going to lose your cool, but also are not fucking around; and b) are not letting them off the phone without getting what you want.

Some things must be done by voice. People want to online chat or email, but that's not how conflicts are resolved. Get on the phone or meet in person.