I hired a Private Investigator for the first time today.

hope he doesn't get attacked by a wookalar *

Nice. I knew I knew it, but could not remember the origin. *

How much is he charging you? Expenses? *

Regular occurrence in my business

I’m never the guy who calls him, though.

This guy is the best in the business

Cough it up, choppers! *

Hope the target isn't on NDN *

Pretty sure I’m safe on that one. *

They’re Watching You *

They see your every move *

Similar [v]

You must be in Dire Straits

It's a mystery to me
The game commences
For the usual fee
Plus expenses
Confidential information
It's in a diary
This is my investigation
It's not a public inquiry
I go checking out the reports
Digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts
In this line of work
Treachery and treason
There's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason
I still can't get used to it
And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whiskey and a new set of lies
Blinds on the window and a pain behind the eyes
Scarred for life
No compensation
Private investigations

Are you saying it’s Money for Nuthin? *

Wouldn't ELDs remove the need for the PI?

Assuming you're tracking class 8 tractors, how are they not running ELDs with GPS coordinates and corresponding gps and geo fencing?

Would he have ready access if it’s a 3rd party carrier? *

That’s a good point, but we also need evidence of hook up

On both ends.

If they would be classified ag, I don’t think they need that

stuff.

I don’t think there is an exemption for Ag *

There is for livestock haulers, but not commodity trucks. *

A dick? *

I'm a brother Seamus! *

An Irish monk? *

No, but I met one once. Nice guy. *

Way cooler than tracking workers' comp cheats playing

golf on a Tuesday morning in LA without their supposed neck brace.

She wouldn’t cheat with a pos like Freddy Rameriez *

The leaves weren't the only thang rustlin that night.

I got a call from a farmer. He put me on the trail of some hot bovines. Now, I ain't the judgemental type, but these cattle was stolen, not sexy. I had work to do that would take coffee, cigarettes, and my Aerosmith tape. Following a truck through California customs without getting noticed ain't easy, but it ain't impossible. I done it before and got a big payday when the perp turned out to be Elsie Chapo. He'd been stealin RumChata's top teats for years. He's still bakin in a Wisconsin prison to this day.

Well the job paid right, so I took it. Bethel already had a full tank, some binoculars, and a fully inflated spare if I had any trouble, so I set out for Barstow, the US's greatest city right behind Newark, Gary, and Detroilet.

Four smokes into this convoy we hit trouble...

So a milk truck is keeping you up at night? *

Smell the Dairy Air, El K! *

A bit more complex than that. Contract violations, potential

violations of Federal law, millions of dollars in fines. Real dairy espionage stuff. And a lot more than one milk truck per day.

I’ll want the full scoop when you are able to give it.

I figure that you can’t give me too much info, loose ships sink ships.

Yeah. I’ve already said too much.

But these idiots aren’t going to find this site out before it’s long gone....

You mean to suggest NDN's days are numbered?! *

Understood but put me on the list of the curious. *

Skimmed milk? *

When milk goes bad *

Sometimes people lactose morals. *

One percenters *

Collusion. Suspicious talks with some white russians.

Secret negotiations about a project involving mos-cows

Herd they are in the pasture with pa's cows. *

Federal crime - transporting them from one state to an udder *

I heard it might be the Curds. *

I’m Hereford the puns. *

How dairy send a PI after these guys? Must be another whey. *