Crap
by drmurray (2019-02-12 11:45:51)

Despite 17+ years of lobbying, cajoling, suggesting, swag buying, shit talking and pointing out the obvious, nephew has selected Michigan over Notre Dame.

Mom (sister in law) is ND undergrad, but went to UM med school. Dad is UM all the way (undergrad and med school). The odds were against me, but I gave it my best shot.

I feel I dropped the ball. Sort of like Brian Kelly.

What a bummer.

Also, Michigan sucks.


Is it true they perform abortions at their medical school? *
by The Flash  (2019-02-13 22:20:21)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


My nephew chose Miami over ND and he turned out just fine.
by BeastOfBourbon  (2019-02-12 21:41:43)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

That’s what I hear, at least. I haven’t spoken to the little bastard since.


Just like MLK, I have a dream.
by BeijingIrish  (2019-02-12 18:59:48)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

In my dream, I own Orkin. My crews drive my fleet of trucks all over America tenting the homes of Michigan grads with the entire family inside.


Regretfully, Orkin is terrible at killing pests *
by DakotaDomer  (2019-02-12 19:49:55)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


advice from the Bible
by abqgant  (2019-02-12 16:02:50)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Ask your nephew if he wishes to be treated as the modern day equivalent of a leper from biblical times.

"Nephew, every time you enter a social situation with those present knowing you're a UM grad, you'll hear cries of "unclean, unclean..", and decent people will flee from your presence. Is that the future you want?"


You'll get preferred service at the Burger King
by Irishlawyer  (2019-02-12 15:08:19)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

in about 4 years, so look on the bright side.


My niece graduated from UM in 2018- She got a Great Job with
by Jammer  (2019-02-12 14:05:13)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Cisco in San Jose. She excelled in the Ross Business school-
Uncle Jammer could never find a “Good Weekend” to attend a Fall event at “The House that Gary Moeller & Brady Hoke” built!


Hopefully the job goes south and she is rendered homeless.
by Bruno95  (2019-02-12 14:48:58)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I wish the same for the nephew of drmurray. You are both failures as uncles.

My niece is approximately 3-5 years old. In looking through my photo album from college, she seemed to enjoy a photo of my friends and me tailgating before a Michigan game. One of my friends was shirtless, and we had painted on his chest the words "Michigan is a Cunt."

The marker was laid down that day, and I will never have to write a shameful post like this.


“Pull the Moeller!”
by mkovac  (2019-02-12 20:17:21)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

The Michigan chant when Michiganders were fed up with Gary Moeller.


I'm assuming The Equalizer is based on your life. *
by Porpoiseboy  (2019-02-12 15:19:44)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


I wish I had thought of that strategy.
by drmurray  (2019-02-12 14:52:35)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Now he is dead to me.

He should major in archeology because his career is in ruins.


Nice twist there, and
by Hati Hijau  (2019-02-12 16:51:26)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Fuck Michigan.


Is he looking for an Upper Mgmt job @ Dominos or Pizza Hut? *
by Jammer  (2019-02-12 13:57:10)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Do you mean Little Caesars? *
by Brandon  (2019-02-12 15:52:06)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


To quote a famous judge....
by Marine Domer  (2019-02-12 13:37:20)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

“The world needs ditch diggers, too.”


The nephew's name is Danny? *
by Hati Hijau  (2019-02-12 16:54:41)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Perhaps he can be a plant.
by saintapollonia  (2019-02-12 13:15:54)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

You are correct, drmurray, in that Michigan sucks. Maybe this will cheer you up...

For those that don't have kids, child abduction in this era is a valid concern. While it may be a bit of Mrs. Lovejoy over hysteria, and one would like to think that 1) my kids can tell who to trust/sniff out a fake story of a potential predator 2) resist physically an attack, it's still an issue to deal with. Like Holtz in game plannning, parenting requires preparation.

One element is to have a safe word, or code word for your kid to know it's okay to go with somebody. Honestly, we haven't had to employ it, but it's there if you need it.

I discussed this with our kids: But, Dad, we need something they can't guess. We can't use something simple. Dad, what about having a SENTENCE, so if an adult is guessing a single WORD, then we know for sure it's not right.

In every conceivable circumstance, I'm sure my kids trust my inlaws (and should). But I wonder if my in laws will ever have to say, "Ann Arbor is a dirty whore".

Obviously, I will change the safe code. But, I thought you could use the pick me up. Good day, drmuray. And...isn't you that just rightfully blames Davie?


There on some things you should never tell anyone.
by dillon301  (2019-02-12 13:11:53)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

this is one of them.


"Damn, brother.
by Bluntschli  (2019-02-12 13:34:00)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Don't b'lieve I'da tol' that."


The honorable response is seppuku.
by BeijingIrish  (2019-02-12 12:45:25)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Good bye.


With a greased frisbee, of course *
by sprack  (2019-02-12 12:48:20)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


No grease for something this egregious. *
by PWK2  (2019-02-12 13:34:48)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Am I a joke to you? *
by captaineclectic  (2019-02-12 13:04:36)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


That's one less Christmas present to buy. *
by Irish Tool  (2019-02-12 12:38:25)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


What does he wish to study? *
by BacTien  (2019-02-12 12:20:46)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Dammit! Davie strikes again. My deepest condolences *
by sprack  (2019-02-12 12:06:41)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


That bastard! *
by drmurray  (2019-02-12 13:55:33)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


We hired a new guy a few years ago, and he wore a UM
by NDFlyer  (2019-02-12 11:58:52)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

T-shirt on his first day. I introduced myself and said "Tim, did anyone ever tell you that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression?"

Your nephew will be fine, but I would avoid their home on Fall Saturdays. I do the same - my sister married a Penn State season ticket holder. We keep college football discussions civil even though I hope his team loses every game.


It's the Lake of Fire for you.
by CMillar  (2019-02-12 11:57:15)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

On the upside, there's a legion of demons that will enjoy feasting on your soul for eternity.


That’s a lot of genetic stupid to overcome
by DakotaDomer  (2019-02-12 11:51:45)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Half his parents went to UM and the other half married a man from UM.

I’m not sure which is dumber.

I think your failure came when you allowed your sister to make such a colossal mistake.


Last Halloween...
by Porpoiseboy  (2019-02-12 11:49:00)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I smeared a buncha suck all over me and went as Michigan. I didn't get shit trick-or-treating the whole night. I have never been prouder of my neighborhood.


Hmmm - I would have thought you would have been
by Irishlawyer  (2019-02-12 15:10:35)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

celebrated at about every twentieth house that had two dads with beers in hand sitting on folding chairs on the driveway around the raging fire pit they dragged in from "around back".


You know what to do
by captaineclectic  (2019-02-12 11:47:23)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Buy a frisbee.