This past year has made me realize how ridiculous hand shakes are.

If I’ve met somebody new, it’s been pretty awkward without the handshake to be honest. I do this weird wave/smile (that they can’t see)/head nod thing that makes me feel pretty uncomfortable, and them probably even more so.

But not sick enough that I need to stay home in bed.

their elbow at me, I fist bump or grab it...they've already initiated one of the most awkward things so I try to top it. I'm back to shaking hands or doing the fist bump...I kind of like the fist bump because it's really quick and you can greet a group quickly.

...with the Europeans.

As do most people I encounter. It’s an adult greeting. Adults also should know not to put their hands in their mouths or on their faces.

Why would I want to touch another human being as a form of greeting? Bruno, if we ever touch each other, I want it only to be in the act of making love. Or a fight.