I’m really a great, upstanding guy and I regret that this is tarnishing my reputation and distracting from all of the great work I have done.
I'm very, very sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head... struggling to find its way through the normal-size neck hole... of my finely knit sweater.
And he hasn't played for the Pats in quite some time.
A jury of his peers found him not guilty, fwiw.