Crack Backs Atcha

Lucy VanPelt made as many stops as she could, but logistics didn’t work for a South Bend visit on Saturday.

To switch references, the Irish were lucky there were only three bullets in the gun.

Brian Polian has grown from that 30-year old who arrived at Notre Dame to coach special teams in 2005 into the great candidate for an important role in athletics administration that he is today… literally today.

Maybe one day we will be considering nominees for the Polian Award.

Free Dexter Williams!

The only thing that can slow him down is a Brian Kelly game plan.

There were plenty of would haves and could haves in Saturday’s game, but nothing translated to the point differential more tangibly than placekicking.

But then again, ND’s kickoff unit suckage more than offset Pitts’ field goal unit suckage. And before you say anything, I know.

Because the Power 5 programs played conference games this week and because we won’t be able to highlight all of the SEC’s Week 12 patsy games in real time, I’m going to look five weeks into the future for this week’s Pinkel award candidate. It’s Florida. The Gators Week 12 will prepare for their regular season finale vs Florida State with a glorified scrimmage against 2-4 Idaho. It isn’t too late to get your SEC Network subscription.

Good idea. I’ve felt adrift ever since I cancelled my subscription to the B1G Network.

The “When to go for 2” chart should be kept in a lock box until the last 10 minutes of every game.

Can the head coach keep personal custody of it while it’s in there?

Louisville fell to 2-5/0-4 after Saturday’s drubbing at Boston College. Bobby Petrino is toast.

Despite that stench, the aroma surrounding Louisville’s basketball program is even worse.

Chip Kelly got his first win at UCLA on Saturday. Let Bruins Football excitement begin!

I’m getting concerned, Kayo. One poop reference is poetic license; two is bordering on a fetish.

If we want to anoint an ass kicker of the week, the Irish defense will provide no shortage of candidates. This week I’d go with Julian Okwara this week for his seven QB hurries, sack, and awesome tackle for loss on a play that mattered a great deal.

Nice to have choices, isn’t it?

I knew I had my Week 7 Hardin Award nominee as soon as I heard Tim Brando say that Iowa State’s last night win at home vs top 10 team was 2,521 days ago during FS1’s broadcast of the Cyclones’ victory over West Virginia (a) because the statistic is nominally true but worthless which are the award’s criteria, and (b) because I wouldn’t have to spend time Sunday morning scouring postgame notes for useless information. It wasn’t enough to create a factoid based on three layers of qualification. The FS1 team’s use of “2,521 days” were intended to make the time since the home night victory over a top 10 team in 50 degree weather when it rained three days before the game and the head coach’s puppy pooped outside for the first time sound so much longer than the 7 years they represent.

Jeff Nelson is Penn State’s associate AD for comminications. In praising Lions’ QB Trace McSorley, he starts out fine, mentioning a couple of notable milestones. McSorley became PSU’s all-time leading passer and he extended his consecutive games streak throwing a TD pass to 34 games. But Nelson goes to the well once too often when in the next note he mentions McSorley’s pedestrian 37 yards rushing moved him all the way up to… 32nd on the PSU career rushing list. Trying too hard after a lackluster loss is the hallmark of all aspiring Hardin nominees.

The Irish won after trailing at halftime for the first time since the September, 2015 game at Virginia. If I were more industrious, I’d know whether that’s a damning statistic about Brian Kelly teams or a Hardin Award nominee because it represents a trivial sample.

I’m no more industrious than you are, but I’m putting my money on the former.

Dumb media question (I know. Redundant.) of the week.

Yet, it was ingenious in its own way. It takes special talent for a reporter to raise a legitimate and challenging premise in one breath, then in the next breath to transform it into a butt-kissing cliché of a question.

This week I am Sparty-cus.

So you’re throwing your hat into the ring for the 2020 Democratic nomination, too?

Kayo

Bacchus