“Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

You start typing and then you walk away as your thoughts are so disconnected. The detachment is so great that your body and mind are completely out of synch. They are separate entities disjointed by shock… You move about as if you’ve just survived a percussion grenade. It’s a daze as you try to steady yourself. There aren’t any right words. You look at the keyboard and know that there’s nothing you could possibly write that will do justice to this loving, spiritual, beautiful, …. and above all courageous little girl. You wait. You steel yourself and try…. You embrace your soul.

Over time you begin to realize the incredible gift you’ve been given. It’s not about who Kimi might have been. It’s about who she was….

On January 6, 2019 Kimi found her way heaven. That day has always held a special place in my heart…more so now….

“How precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His Holy ones.”

You met Kimi when she was four years old and Mkovac posted correspondence I had emailed him. You stuck with her from that point forward as a backbone of loving, spiritual and incredibly generous support for a very special little girl.

Our love for Kimi will know no ends…like heaven above… it’s eternal…

The day of Kimi’s memorial service we had the great pleasure of meeting Jvan, Irisharab and Ia’s girlfriend. She is now his beautiful fiancé. The flowers provided by all of you were front and center on the altar. I was able to eulogize Kimi. The day was a blur. That day, Austin Reuland provided me with a remark that extends to everyone here. “You gave her the best life you possibly could.” After the service Jvan’s eyes spoke for everyone here. They displayed friendship, family, sadness, spiritual, physical support, love and relief that Kimi was no longer in pain. He, board ops and everyone here are more than everything ND aspires to be….

Back in August 2014 I wrote:

“Kimi has no fear of death and speaks freely of heaven. The other day in Shrek 3 at the beginning when the Frog King dies characters were upset. Kimi, "Why are they sad? He gets to go to heaven.”

“That's her prism. It should be all of ours'....”

On January 16th, Kimi was cremated. Kimi’s mom, my wife and I were “witnesses” to the cremation. We were able to spend some time with her beforehand. It was a time of great spiritual reflection. Earlier in the week, I had consulted and had deep religious discussions with my Nephew, Father Matt, who is a Priest. I asked him what readings were appropriate for a funeral and he gave me all the choices. Rather than select, we did them all. I also blessed Kimi upon arrival and when it was time for her to go, as I have so many times before, with Holy Water from Saint Andre’ Bessette, Lourdes and Fatima.

After the cremation we were reflecting and reminiscing on a bluff in the cemetery. As I prayed I was asking Kimi and Konrad to show me something …. to let me know they were okay. Over the course of three minutes I took a series of photos of the sky at the cemetery. The sky was grey and the clouds were randomly moving at a good clip. We could see images forming, smiled at the heavenly dance and knew they were okay. I wish I had videoed the sky. I didn’t think about the photos until later in the week, such is shock. Then I looked closely and couldn’t help, but smile again...

Days later I showed Mary Reuland the sequence of photos at her house. I told her the date and where they were taken. I asked her, “what do you see?”

When she got to picture 2, 3, 4....

“Oh My God, I see Konrad putting his arm around Kimi. I’m getting goose bumps.” Her eyes welled up.

I said, “that’s exactly what I see.”

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On the way home from the cemetery we again asked Boo to show us that she was okay.... a half rainbow to the sky appeared! When I showed the rainbow picture to Dr. Reuland he correctly pointed out, “It’s so fitting that it only went up…”

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At the time it appeared my wife had said, “It’s going straight to the stars and heaven. She's showing us her path...”

As we continued to drive,
I asked my wife, Dee, “Do you remember, years ago, when Kimi asked me how much I loved her and I said, “all the way to the stars”?” Kimi was beaming.

She said, “Yes”.

Me, “Do you remember Kimi’s next question?” “Yes.”

Kimi impishly, “What about Aunt Dee?”

Me, “Oh, she’s not even to the moon.” Kimi laughed so hard at that… It was good to see my wife smile at the recollection.

Kimi’s courage and wit knew no bounds. About 6 months before she passed….

“The young girl faced an audience of hardened men(Navy Seals), all with many deployments to war torn regions around the world. She was the keynote speaker. They watched her intently. She was up to the challenge. “Hi. My name is Kimi and I have been fighting cancer for over seven years. In all this time, I NEVER let cancer limit me nor do I EVER let cancer define who I am. I am bigger and stronger than cancer and I plan on beating this and going on to accomplish great things.”

It was the Mentor Training Dinner, a regular event the night before One Summit’s Climb for Courage program, this one in San Diego. At the dinner, Navy SEAL mentors unite to renew acquaintances and receive an education from child life experts, past mentors and One Summit staff to manage expectations for the following day. Kimi and her father, Peter were special guests, the first child and parent to address the group and share their Climb for Courage experience.

The SEALs take every Climb for Courage as a serious challenge. They want to be successful mentors. They want to see their mentees succeed. But they were not expecting the challenge posed by Kimi. “Just a word of warning,” she said. “I am The Queen of rock climbing, so you better bring your ‘A’ game tomorrow. Also, I know that there are not yet any girl SEALs, so there will only be boy SEALs tomorrow. So, I promise to go easy on you boys.””

“Through all the adversity, she has never lost her sense of humor, as she showed when she told the mentors she enjoyed reading up on SEALs: “I heard one of the first things they have to do is shave their heads. So, I guess I got that part done already!”” Priceless...

I often reflect on the words written years ago by my best friend and ND graduate.

“You are right that Kimi needs Divine intervention. It is clear, however, that she has received much of it. Kimi is an innocent child; she does not know sin. Therefore, God must have chosen her for something special. The greater one's suffering the closer one is to God. Indeed, the closer one gets to the pain suffered on the Cross the closer one gets to God. The most remarkable thing you have told me is how Kimi has handled her ordeal. Her acceptance of so much suffering and pain is nothing less than her acceptance of God's will.

No one knows what will happen, including doctors, but clearly Kimi has been chosen for something special. She already has impacted many people and made them better. Few adults can claim such an accomplishment. She is blessed in a way that I envy.

She remains in my prayers.

Best,
Ed”

You lament what might have been and treasure what was…

The January 6th date of Kimi’s passing takes on greater meaning.

I hadn’t connected the dots and was reading up on St. Andre’ Bessette….and, again, could not help, but smile.

“Saint Andre Bessette was orphaned at the age of 12. He entered the Congregation of the Holy Cross at age 25 and was the Doorkeeper at Notre Dame College in Quebec for most of his life. St. Andre Bessette became known as a healer after an epidemic broke out which he worked fervently to stop through healing. He gave all of the healing credit to St. Joseph and planted medals of St. Joseph on the property of Mount Royal he wanted to be sold to his Order. The property was sold to the Order and a chapel is there now which is still in use to this day. Saint Andre Bessette's feast day is January 6th.”

It's just perfect that Kimi was blessed so often by Holy Water from his church and then would ascend to Heaven on his Feast Day…

Post surgery: Kimi was 4 years 8 months old, “Uncle, Love is the most powerful thing there is and never ever stop fighting.”

Much love to all of you,

Peace in Christ,

“As kings and queens bow and play for you” …. pretty girl….

cj