Horrifying to hear and hope and pray you are ok, as well.

I've had a few friends commit suicide over the years. First one happened to a buddy of mine back home when I was at ND. The last one was a colleague's husband last year. I lost a former student and a two fellow attorney friends. I had a cousin do it, which seemed to come out of nowhere since he had the most wonderful parents anyone could dream of. There seems to always be a what if game people play in their minds when it happens. If I'd had done this instead of that, etc., which is torturous. I got to where I'd clam up and shut down after the third funeral.

Now I handle it like I do any other death, which is difficult to do because there's so much weight to it. Seeing someone succumb to leukemia is somehow different and more acceptable. But like that same person, when someone commits suicide, the body is gone, the pain is gone. It leaves a deeper hole than other ways out, which is agony for parents, I'm sure. But rather than let their death be an endless source of heartache, you now have someone to communicate with when you pray that seems a lot closer to you than any saint from 600 years ago. I don't have any catechetical basis for this, it's just based on my observations, but I think God is quick to care for those souls who suffered most in this life. Reckon it reminds Him of His Son. So this young man now has a special place, but he has a lot to care for and worry over given how he died. Give him that chance. Pray to him. Go to adoration or sit quietly somewhere and pray to him. Even if you don't hear anything, the mere act of speaking to him, even now, will help ease things. It'll mean he isn't completely gone or lost.