I'm terribly sorry to hear this.
by manofdillon (2025-04-26 10:30:46)

In reply to: A close friend recently lost their adult child to suicide.  posted by Giggity_Giggity


I don't have much to offer with respect to suicide specifically (and there is what seems to be a lot of great advice below), but I've watched over the last year as my wife has accompanied a close friend whose husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. In the aftermath of the event, our friend was flooded by a lot of support from our community, and a lot of well-intentioned people tried to "fix" things right away. E.g., she was a stay at home mom and a lot of people were throwing job opportunities at her right away. They meant well, but she didn't want a job right away, she didn't want a quick "fix," she wanted to grieve and be there with her kids.

She and my wife were good friends before her husband passed, but have become a lot closer over the last year. And I think that's mostly due to the fact that my wife is just there, and has been consistently even when some of the initial outpouring of support started to fade. There to cry together when that's what she needs, there to listen to stories about her late husband when that's what she wants to talk about, there to do the every day fun things that friends do together, there to help troubleshoot when something difficult comes up, but most importantly just there. So that'd be the best advice I can offer. Don't try to "fix" anything, because you can't. Just be there. If they want or need some space that's understandable, but make sure they know you're not going anywhere. You're there to listen to the hard stuff, there to do the normal everyday stuff that you've always done together. Just there for everything and anything they want or need.

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