Sophomore year, one guy who was in the dope selling business decided to get a pet monkey. He kept the damn thing in our section all semester without being detected, but by December the smell got to be so bad we made him give it up. The next year he found Jesus, gave up dope, and started going to class. He turned in four consecutive 4.0 semesters and graduated.

My friend Charlie got drunk one night and decided he could get his car airborne if he drove fast enough. He actually got on the runway at the SB airport but couldn't achieve lift-off. He blamed it on having too many passengers.

it was the 20 stolen cases of Tequila in the trunk.