We're Now in the Age of "Snowplow" Parenting
by dillon77 (2019-06-25 08:03:08)
Edited on 2019-06-25 08:38:36

Throughout the thread on Jordan Nixon's transfer, many posters referenced how tough it must be for coaches -- or authority figures in all aspects of life -- to work with helicopter parents, AAU coaches and/or advisors to the player. And how the kids who have those parents/influencers often tend to "go their own way" to pull of a Fleetwood Mac line.

Well Sports Illustrated is now reporting it's getting worse: Welcome to the "Snowplow" parent. SI has an article, which I've linked. I've pulled out two paragraphs, one of which features Muffet's male hoops counterpart, Mike Brey. None of this will surprise those who follow Brey or McGraw (or most college sports for that matter), but it does offer another reason, perhaps, why so many kids want to constantly find smooth sailing somewhere else rather than stick the storm out.

Brey also offers up policies he's trying to address the situation to the benefit of all concerned. As he summarizes below: “It is part of the culture now. Manage it.”

"The phenomenon also reflects what’s happening in the rest of society, says psychologist Madeline Levine, an expert on the topic. “It used to be helicopter parenting,” she says. “And now it is snowplow parenting, which is much more active: It means you are doing something to smooth the way for the child. It’s not just that you’re hyper-vigilant—it’s that you are actually getting rid of those bumps, which robs kids of the necessary experience of learning and failing.

"Not surprisingly, the trend is driving many coaches nuts. “When I think about my next coaching job, I think it should be in an orphanage,” says Notre Dame basketball coach Mike Brey. “I use that [line] at coaching clinics, and high school coaches give me a standing ovation.

"Coaches are increasingly finding ways to deal with greater parent involvement. At Notre Dame, Brey assigns an assistant coach to each set of parents, and they are responsible for checking in with them every two weeks because “even when we have kids on campus, parents can control the vibe and the head and the attitude,” he says.

"Many coaches, like Brey, are setting clear boundaries with parents in order to preserve their sanity. They will not discuss playing time during the season, but they keep the lines of communication open through other coaches on staff. “Instead of complaining about it, I told our staff, We need to manage it,” Brey says. “It is part of the culture now. Manage it.”




Heard Muffet speak last week said 2 biggest issues now are
by dfw  (2019-06-25 12:21:59)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

parents wanting to be recruited and kids having no experience with obstacles so they leave as soon as an obstacle appears. It would fit in the idea presented here.

The parents wanting to be recruited piece was a big issue for her as she wants to get to know the students and see if they are a fit, but too often parents want to be the ones who are first in line.

She was also not a fan of the transfer portal and the fact that it allows students to skip talking to their coaches and trying to work things out.


Don't know if dfw was there, but I heard Muffet...
by gond79  (2019-07-02 00:16:44)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

make the same comments at an ND luncheon in Chicago. She also had some funny comments about Geno.


Where and when did you hear Muffet speak? *
by traditionnevergraduates  (2019-06-27 07:09:53)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post


Maybe the coaches should forewarn new freshmen...
by 2Domer  (2019-06-25 14:12:37)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

That things can get kind of bumpy, especially at first, that the pressure can seem like too much sometimes, and that they will likely go through periods of feeling miserable, but that they need to hang in there, not lose confidence in themselves, and trust the coaches and the people around them. I can remember feeling pretty miserable myself at times, especially during that first year, and I did not have to deal with anything close to the pressure they must feel. I can easily imagine it getting pretty bad, and making a person want to escape.


I don't doubt that they already do that
by Kayo  (2019-06-25 16:11:48)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Both head coaches and assistant coaches. In many cases, individual players have closer relationships to the assistants than they have with the head coach.

I know for a fact that both ND basketball programs spend a lot of time on personal development as well as basketball development, and both have a philosophy of having young players learn to be leaders from the older ones so they will be prepared to lead when their time comes. The year by year progression is part of the program.

Nevertheless, Notre Dame's academic program, ND's social life and campus rules, Muffet McGraw, and/or Mike Brey aren't a great fit for everyone; and if one or more of those aren't clicking with a player, having to be patient for playing time to become available will make the decision to transfer all the more appealing.

Unless a player goes public with specific reasons, speculating why is a worthless exercise.


Thanks for That Input...
by dillon77  (2019-06-25 18:42:16)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

..coming off the transfer of Dani Paterson and imminent one of Jordan Nixon, along with this article, it's reassuring to not only read Coach Brey on his comments and programs, but here it from you.

Not at all they're working to get on top of this situation, which is hard because parameters, processes and pressures keep realigning. On top of that, like you said, one sometimes never knows why a young adult choose to leave or stay.

Thanks again.

Go Irish!


High school transfers are epidemic in S Cal
by SixShutouts66  (2019-06-26 15:06:29)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

The high school sports associations in Southern California have almost given up stemming the amount of athletic transfers, especially in football and boys basketball. I don't recall if any of our transfers moved around in high school, but there is certainly a transfer mentality that's growing and even an "AAU" mentality of players.


High school transfers. Pretty sure
by Homeboy73  (2019-06-26 17:21:12)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

that one or both Mabreys transferred, and perhaps Mik Vaughan.


It Was Marina; Mik Went from Philly to Paul VI
by dillon77  (2019-06-26 17:54:51)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Mik played at a pretty small private school and, quite candidly, transferred to powerhouse Paul VI in northern Va. to play against better competition, both in practice and in games.

Marina's switch was a tad more complex. After winning the Tournament of Champions (TOC) in New Jersey as a freshman on a team that was led by older sister, Michaela, the Manasquan Public Schools got into a squabble with the coach (I'm guessing there was an AAU component to it.)

Marina and the other major returning star, Katelynn Flaherty, left to play for an even smaller Jersey Shore conference public school, Pt. Pleasant Beach. They helped lead this team from a losing record to the Tournament of Champions tournament. Afterwards, Mabrey returned to Manasquan, where she won a second TOC title as a senior, joined by younger sister, Dara. Flaherty transferred to Metuchen for her senior year (her father went there), before heading to Michigan and having a stellar career. Her position coach there for three years was former Irish PG Megan Duffy, now head coach at Marquette.

In a similar vein to Southern California, you see all sorts of transfers in Jersey, usually involving men's basketball and football. However, it occurs in girls hoops, too, as this story says.


Mike Brey had some great comments
by NDoggie78  (2019-06-25 09:26:45)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I wish he had that problem with superstar NBA talent player's parents