I've thought about that a lot too, and while I think the $$ of a huge conference sadly won out for the powers that be to play it safe on FB and was a far easier sell for them on the easier integration of the Olympic (? - hope I have the term right and certainly not meant to denigrate) sports vs. sticking with our BE brethren + FB independence, I completely agree with you!
-Fit: You said it best, and other than BC and perhaps Duke/Wake, I am not seeing many ACC schools that are similar to us as small, private schools, and with Clemson/FSU/Miami/VT the only ones that are FB-first.
-Football: I think this would have been for the better, especially as we just saw an ND team that was on the fringe of the playoff (& yes, I our UM loss was pathetic and I won't defend that) couldn't even make a NY6 or whatever they call it due to the ACC rules, while a middling UVA team whom we both beat head to head made a quality bowl. I'm a little more bullish on their overall football potential than others as Clemson has now taken the next step, Miami/FSU are always one coach away, and VT/Pitt/UVA/UNC are decent for depth, but I likewise don't see the fit, hate the 5 vs. 3/4 game requirement since we don't get the bowl benefit anyway, and we likely could have picked up many of them as OOC games.
-MBB: you nailed it!
-WBB: I definitely don't know this as well as the good folks on McGraw's bench here, but this seems like more of a slight step down since Duke isn't a power anymore, and perhaps a wash if UConn had stayed in the BE
-Hockey: We are in the Big 10 anyway, so ACC wouldn't matter
-Lacrosse: Looks like a slight edge to the ACC with Syracuse/Duke/UNC, but Georgetown & Denver are very good programs too
-Everything else: I am guessing an edge to the ACC for sports like track, but really not sure
I'm friends with a lot of Georgetown grads - many from families that would often either have family members attend both schools or have the ND FB/Hoya BBall split - and they are confused as well. For the most part, they miss us in the BE too, and I can't imagine Duke or UNC would feel the same if we left the ACC.