All the best qualities of Quinton McCracken and Dan Quissenberry in one guy.
I looked this one up too and there has yet to be a major leaguer with a last name starting with X.
I definitely cheated with my research on this one. He is real and he played for KC - quite poorly - from 2008-9.
Kneel Before Zod!
Not a baseball player, but does a professional pool player count as a "professional athlete" at least?