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Update: After a three hour (!!!) hold with the IRS by LondonDomer

I finally got through to a real person (who is currently working without pay). She basically said the transcripts take weeks to update, and mine should be available sometime next week, maybe -- unless it's not.

So for now, our closing attorney has been OK'd by the lender to hold $3000 in escrow until such statement is made available.

This despite that I can produce a transcript showing the amount I owed, as well as a signed and dated letter from my bank confirming the payment processed and cleared my account.

Oh well. Good news is we're still closing.