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My email is attached by Tjmcfly

Ive been through something remarkably similar. It's rough, but it sounds like you've got your priorities straight. Fire off an email if you feel the need.

You need to stop the drinking though. If there's one thing that's going to get in the way of your custody, it's booze. I can read it in your writing. This is one alcoholic just talking to another. You can't bullshit me and more than just a few other guys I know in this place.

I've drunkenly tried to appear sober when writing something too.

This place can be more than cathartic. It can genuinely help. Hell, the backroom is the first place I admitted I needed help before I went and got it. The support I got from strangers was uplifting enough to power me through. I'm sure it can with you too. You help those girls by helping yourself.