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More words of wisdom by mkovac........ by Jurassic
Sorry for disorder of the post below, it's a copy and paste from a post of his a long time ago. It got me through the worst time in my life...
I know what you are going through.
I went through a painful divorce and have been through difficult financial
times as well.
There are a few things you can do to keep your head above water.
The advice to trust in God is the ultimate best advice.
Do not rail against the wind and beat yourself up.
Losing a job strikes at the very sense of self-worth of a man: we are
supposed to be the rock, the providers. When that is taken away, we
question our very worth and our identity is also under attack.
Know that you are not what you possess, but are a vessel of God's grace.
Do not turn away from His grace and love now. But how will it be made
manifest to you when everything around you is crumbling? It will be
discerned by a very finely tuned ear - an ear that is sensitive to the strands
of love offered by others and by the love of your children.
Do not shut out your children or hibernate in a spiritual fetal position:
when you are at your most vulnerable to pain, you are also at your most
vulnerable to love. Sounds like a child, doesn't it?
Ecclesiastes says, "Vanity of vanities: all is vanity." It does not mean that
everything we do is dust in the wind. It means, I believe, that material
things are not what we should be working to acquire, but that we should be
ultimately trying to do the will of God and not pursue only our own interests.
In the case of where you are right now, it means that you need to find a
new job, yes, but you also must listen to a voice inside of you to help put
you back on a path of spiritual happiness. It may mean that you need to
go through a period of self healing and redefining who you are. You are
not your job. You are not your status of husband. You are you, and "you"
is deeper than the accoutrements of culture, clothes, car and where you
live. You will come out of this with a much deeper sense of well being and
find that when others lose their jobs and their spouse and other things,
you will be able to help them because you have been taken down to your
very foundations, and were able to rebuild because your foundation was not
built upon sand: it was built upon the rock-solid understanding that you are
deeper than the deepest ocean and vaster than the very universe. Your soul is eternal, immutable, and part of God Himself. You are indestructible at the
core and the core is Love. In short, be not afraid.
But God moves in strange ways. Some think He does not exist because He
doesn't show up in Times Square and strike murderers down with lightning
bolts.
God is the ultimate "behind the scenes" guy. He helps us through the acts of
others and by the hands of those who are open to His suggestions.
A kindness done to you is a reflection of Him.
Stay upright and true to your heart and whatever you do, be there for your
children, but do not break down in front of them. They need you to be
strong for them.
If your soon to be ex badmouths you in front of them, do not respond in
kind. You want them to have a good relationship with her and never say
anything bad about her in front of them, or in a manner that it could get
back to them.
Your children are not your therapist, so do not share things that would
trouble them with them.
In times of chaos, many adults tend to forget that others depend upon them
and they tend to just take care of themselves. Often, they don't do a very
good job of it, allowing their personal hygiene to slide as their self-respect
disappears.
Suicide is not an option. It's a selfish act from which your children would
never recover. You might feel like Hamlet, and that oblivion is seductive, but
you have a purpose here, and it's not your time to go. This job loss is just
that, and the breakup in your marriage leaves you doubly vulnerable.
Your soul is wounded, but it is still YOUR soul, and you have a lot of living to
do.
There are a lot of employers out there looking for someone like you -
someone who shows up every day and who gives his all when he is at work.
You may have to take something below your station, but you will come out
of this.
I came out of a divorce, the court granting my daughter to my ex, who took
her to Argentina and my company going Ch 7, with me having to declare a personal 7 and losing everything.
But, the bastards didn't get my soul, and I'm remarried, my daughter and
son both live in the state, and God is still there, being the smartest damn
guy around and who is preparing a place for all of us on the other side.
I asked Jesus for help during bad times and found that there were people
around who responded.
Help does not necessarily arrive financially, but your pain will yield to
understanding and acceptance and healing if you take good care of yourself,
do not sink into depression, and get out of the house and take matters into
your own hands and make things happen.
And, no matter what, talk to your children every day and do not say or do
anything stupid that would hurt your ex or anyone else.
In short, be a man, be honorable, and walk with your head up and know that
God loves you.
-Mike Kovacevich"