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I believe StubHub's official policy for customer service by potatohouse

is to provide no clarification, no possible avenue for pursuing clarification, and in the event that you find a way to Mission Impossible your way through their Fuck Off forcefield, no remedy whatsoever for your problem.

A carful of suburban teenagers driving their mom's XC90 into the hood to try crack for the first time, only to discover on the way back that the bag had been shorted would have a better chance of being made whole than a poor soul like you in your noble fight against a ticket broker.

I'm very sorry.