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Yes, we're Notre Dame, not Clemson..... by Wolfetone

We could get somebody who goes 4-8 very year. I preach caution...
This is not your fathers Notre Dame. Times have changed. Catholic
high schoolers would rather go to some non-sectarian university.
You can't have any fun at Notre Dame. The grades are too high
to attract 5-star talent as our incumbent proves every recruiting
season. South Bend is a dump where no high profile coach's wife
would ever call home. The bar life is seedy and you can't party
in perpetuity. The AD,er DA, has more pressing issues on his mind
and we will never win another National Championship as it is
virtually impossible at ND. I can't remember the last coach to win
one. Besides 8-4 guarantees an invite to the Johnny Appleseed Bowl
in Minot...