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you're looking at this from an ND scholarship perspective by jt
which I would argue ND has not done a good enough job advocating in the past on recruiting trails.
The value of a scholarship at most other state schools is much, much less. Furthermore, it doesn't cost the schools anywhere near that amount of money to have the kids there.
It's a one sided relationship. No doubt. You can try and yell at the clouds if you want, but you sound pretty unreasonable. There is no doubt that if you were in the situation described (especially as a star player) you would be upset (rightfully so).