Profile for THEHOLTZROOM Click here to make or adjust profile

Height:  6' 0 Weight:  180 lbs. Alumni Status:  Keenan Hall
Location:  Between the gutter and the stars Favorite Baseball Team:  NL: Cubs AL: Yankees
Natural Enemies:  David Gordon, The Newark Airport, DiDi, Amazing Grace

Athletic Ability: HS Defensive Back. After I realized ND Football wasn't in the cards, I switched to cross country.

College: "Kid I'm your starting QB if 5000 other people die."

Current: Can still shovel snow.

Sartorial Style:

Favorite Beverage and Consumption Freq:

Political Philosophy: I vote person not Party. This has led to my conservative friends thinking I’m too liberal and my liberal friends thinking I’m too conservative.

On fiscal issues I’m a staunch conservative.
On prostitution I'm a staunch liberal.

Dumbest fucking thing to talk about on the internet.

Religious Philosophy:

I don’t acknowledge any song/prayer/response made by the Church after 1997. And don’t give me looks during a midnight/Easter/wedding/funeral mass when I flub a line. Those are the responses/prayers/lyrics the nuns taught me.

Musical Favorites: The Jesus Twins

Favorite Quote from an ND Coach: "You'd finish 3rd in a race with a pregnant lady." -Lou Holtz

“You better gas up that bus, cause I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend any money in Michigan.” -Lou Holtz

Miscellaneous Data:
The movie "Never back Down" is loosely based on my life.

I keep my guns and rubbers under lock and key. I don't want crazy women messing with either.

Good looking enough to be on “The Bachelor”. Smart enough not to be on “The Bachelor”.

Notre Dame Atari Medal Nominee.

As far as posters go, some say, I’m the best there is, the best there was, and the best that ever will be.

The Holtz Room’s Hometown

He stands alone
Beneath the stars
Thinking, wondering
About life’s big questions:
Where is my doppelgänger?
Where is my prairie song?

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Napster and stereo.

He has not measured out his life in coffee spoons
He stands alone
Between the gutter and the stars
On the sidewalk outside the home
In his hometown.

When he was young
The children scoffed and stared
Laughing at him and
Said, “You are such a freak!”
But the green-eyed girl with hair so red
So lovely it made him hurt like he’s been punched,
The green-eyed lovely said to him, leaning over her handlebars,
“You are special. You are unique.
You will blow this pop stand and venture far,
Between the gutter and the stars.”

- in tribute to The Holtz Room
June 28, 2021