Good advice thank you

I’ve been documenting the hell outta everything. Apparently at the hearing to decide if the order continues you can only present 12 pieces of evidence. I feel like I could have a million. I made an appoint to start counseling and am doing that in a couple of weeks and reached out to the local Nar-ANON group and plan on attending this weekend. I just feel like I have a million things I need to do and don’t know where the time will come from. I just have to be happy and healthy for our daughter. One of the multitude of bad things is that my wife is not allowing me any contact with our older step-daughter. She says I’m abandoning her like her biological father did. I’ve been the only source of stability in her life the last couple of years and just hope she’s doing well at my in-laws house. As long as they are enablers though I don’t see this ending well.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of the right things.

You're feeling overwhelmed right now, which is about right, but you will continue to get a better handle on things. To continue to make good decisions, you will need to commit to taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Consider making counseling and/or Nar-ANON a top priority. Get to those sessions or meetings no matter what. Try not to let being tired, overwhelmed, or busy stop you. When you're in a good place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, you'll have more energy and make better decisions. That will save you time in the long run in addition to giving you inner peace.

There are plenty of mediocre counselors, and plenty of good ones that aren't a good fit. Don't be afraid to look for a new one if you don't like the chemistry or aren't getting what you need out of it. Finding the right fit can make all the difference. Same goes for group meetings.

Your wife is speaking from a place of hurt and fear about your step-daughter, so try not to put too much stock in what she says right now even though it feels like it cuts you to the bone.

Go easy on yourself for not noticing an addiction problem before. Addicts go to extraordinary lengths to conceal their addictions. It's common for spouses to be caught by surprise.

I feel like I'm just barking advice at you, which is not my intention. You're going to have to find your own way with things. And I haven't been through precisely what you're going through, but I know a lot about living with overwhelming pain, dealing with addiction, and overcoming despair. If I stumble across saying one thing helpful to someone else dealing with similar issues, it is incredibly meaningful to me.

This may not be your cup of tea, and I respect that if it's the case, but I want to leave you with this from Thomas Merton: "Only the man who has had to face despair is really convinced that he needs mercy. Those who do not want mercy never seek it. It is better to find God on the threshold of despair than to risk our lives in a complacency that has never felt the need of forgiveness. A life that is without problems may literally be more hopeless than one that always verges on despair."