Todd was an abused child.
by Papa November (2019-01-11 20:43:24)

In reply to: the most disturbing article I've ever read  posted by irishrock

I know it looks like he had all the talent and privilege in the world. It doesn't matter. He never, ever had the opportunity to decide who he wanted to be and what he wanted to do with his life.

"Marv ordered them to stop playing and start fighting. Todd was not shocked. He had been boxing, against his wishes, since elementary school; Marv enjoyed putting kids in the ring with his son."

This is physical and emotional abuse. The fact that the physical abuse was only ever delivered by a 3rd part doesn't diminish its impact. If anything, it probably made it harder for him to see how disturbed his father was. The fact that Todd only flopped at football and became an addict, as opposed to committing suicide, is a huge accomplishment.

Sorry, but I hardly think becoming a junkie...
by BeastOfBourbon  (2019-01-12 12:26:58)     cannot delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

should ever be viewed as an accomplishment. I can kind of see your angle,

Despite the abuse, Todd still had choices and he chose very poorly, over and over again.

This is fundamentally incorrect.
by Papa November  (2019-01-12 14:28:09)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

Anyone who works with trauma and addiction for a living, myself included, would tell you that Todd no more had a choice about using than he did as a child about fighting.

It doesn't matter that your logical, rational mind can point to what appears to be a moment of choice. The series of dominos that had fallen in the subconscious mind prior to that seeming choice will have already made the choice for Todd well before that moment.

Every now and then someone is able to exert an iron will and push against the forces of the subconscious. This is called white knuckling it. And it's a recipe for disaster. When an alcoholic is not receiving treatment, but is able to resist drinking, that person is considered a dry drunk. They aren't drinking, but the disease is still active and progressing. They can go thirty years without a drink, but if they are white knuckling it and not receiving treatment, then a single drink is enough to put them into an emotional and physical state that's as if they had been drinking all along.

Most of what drives even disease free people is unconscious. It's much more so with addiction.

So no, Todd did not make poor choices. He was driven to them by a horribly abusive father. But, it WAS Todd's responsibility to eventually make a change and seek help. He finally did. His is a massive success story.

Did you read the whole article?
by DakotaDomer  (2019-01-11 21:10:30)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t only a 3rd party delivering the abuse. There’s several paragraphs about Marv hitting his kid personally.

The two of us are the same age
by irishrock  (2019-01-11 21:02:42)     Delete  |  Edit  |  Return to Board  |  Ignore Poster   |   Highlight Poster  |   Reply to Post

I had a teammate a year behind who played DB at UCLA and he said the worst kept secret in LA was that Marinovich was a druggie. So I’ve never been surprised

The worst part about the article was how the daughter was treated. Yes, Todd’s story is a bad one. But hers is heartbreaking.