Those are the people who need this kind of guidance. It is, in all sincerity, very helpful.
I would just offer an alternative approach. It is not for anyone who wants to get after it at the parks. Rather, it’s a suggestion for those who have already seen it all, or who might have physical limitations, or who simply don’t give too much of a shit and want to decompress a bit on vacation.
1. Book at the best Disney resort you can afford. Pay attention to this, because if you are part of my target audience, it matters. If you are following Vermin’s approach, you may not need a luxury hotel. You may not need much more than covered shelter and a private lavatory. You will be able to sleep no matter where you stay, and your waking hours will not be spent in the room.
I rank the hotels according to the following factors:
A. Proximity to the parks — in my approach, you will spend no more than 2-3 hours a day at a given park, with an exception noted below. No sense enduring a long commute.
B. Proximity to the Epcot World Showcase — you will go there every day, because my approach is heavy on strolling around, passively taking in the scene, and getting drunk.
C. How nice is the hotel. You’ll be on the hotel grounds a lot. Good news is, the rooms are all of fairly similar quality across each class of property.
With that, my favorites:
A. Yacht Club. It is walking distance to two parks. It’s not too hard to get to Magic Kingdom. Note: Magic Kingdom accounts for no more than four hours of time in a six-day trip under my approach.
B. Beach Club. Why is this not Yacht/Beach as one? Yacht Club is a little nicer, less hectic, and I like the rooms there a touch more. But they’re close.
C. Grand Floridian. What the fuck? It’s close to Magic Kingdom, which isn’t supposed to matter in this plan. Yes, but it’s the nicest resort. And you can get to Epcot via monorail. And it’s third overall, not first.
D. Boardwalk. Correct me if they’ve updated the rooms, but the last I knew, they needed it. It’s otherwise great and could be #1 again if it gets some work.
E. Polynesian. This is where you stayed as a kid, if your parents loved you enough. For some reason it feels more fungible now. It used to be one of a kind. It’s still neat, and you can walk to the ticket & transportation center to catch a ride to Epcot. Maybe it just can’t live up to the nostalgia.
That is the end of the list.
2. How to book rides: Buy the genie pass and the lightning lanes as you’re able. Line up a ride or two, at a convenient time, and ride that ride. Or don’t.
3. How much to ride: Not much.
4. How long to wait in line: n/a. I don’t wait in line.
5. What to do all day: get up, have some coffee, stroll around the resort grounds. Shower and make your way to a park, at a pace of your choosing. This will never entail seeing the park open. Upon entering, walk wherever your eyes take you. Stop into shops, grab a drink and watch people scurry past, occasionally take note if you see a hot mom. This won’t happen too often, because even an otherwise attractive person loses some luster when they’re sweaty and wearing a Disney themed family reunion shirt. After riding your prepaid rides, or not, head back. It’s ok if you miss a bus or monorail. There are others. Plus, you’ll generally just walk back under my plan. Epcot has no time limit — feel free to stay all day if you want.
Grab a drink at the pool and hang out. Hurricane Hannah’s at the Yacht/Beach Club pool is good. Supplement with a big cocktail you make in the room and pour into a large insulated chug bottle.
I do like getting dinner a few times. This is the one instance where I’ll mildly inconvenience myself, because the best places are at Disney Springs. Try that a time or two. The newer Mexican place in Epcot is also good. But the takeout places aren’t bad either. People tend to load up on reservations then cancel, so you can sometimes find things if you check often.
If you still feel up to it after a long day of doing very little, and you’re staying nearby, go back to Epcot for a drink. I’d leave before the fireworks, unless you really like fireworks. It gets crowded.
Go back, read a bit, go to bed.
Note: no one in your family will be the least bit happy with you, unless you lay some advance groundwork by complaining a lot. They’ll be relieved you’re doing your own thing.
That’s the basic idea. I have been many times. I’ve ridden maybe 10% of the rides there, and I’ve never seen a show. I don’t have the Disney app.