Stage six alert

Stage six alert
by Jvan (2011-09-14 10:37:25)

The twelve stages of the ND Football cycle, as patented by NDNation.

1. We have a new coach. He's not whom we wanted but let's rally behind him because we cannot afford for him to fail.
Response: He'll be here for five years, so get on board.

2. I'm concerned about the Coordinators and some of the assistants on this staff. Why didn't Coach X pursue the best and brightest over cronyism?
Response: It's more important that a staff be able to work together than be a collection of superstars.

3. Geez, I really don't think too much of this offense. I suppose it's OK if it works, but it's too cute by half.
Response: Get with the 21st century. The metrics on this offense are really great.

4. How could we lose to such a low rent program? This is not a good sign.
Response: Ara, Holtz and Saban all had games like this. We can still qualify for the Horsebleep Bowl in Altoona if we win out.

5. How are we still losing games when we are obviously the more talented team? These guys were four star recruits!
Response: The coaches can't block and tackle for them, and the staff did not fumble the ball. Quit being so negative.

6. I think we have to consider the possibility that Coach X is not going to make it. He could turn things around but that needs to happen pretty soon.
Response: We must be snakebit, but have patience. Coach X is going to be here for three more years, so get over it. When it turns around, it will do so with a vengeance.

7. Damn, I really was hoping that Coach X would turn things around in his third season, especially with the brilliant changes he made in his staff and in his overall management approach.
Response: Those #*&%*^$&% referees ^%$*^&ed us again. Besides, recruiting is going well and we should be in position to compete for the national championship in a couple of years.

8. Uh-oh. We'd better get out the short list of candidates and start talking to them on the sly.
Response: We'll never get Coach Z to come here. Besides, we have to maintain continuity and Coach X has actually shown some improvement over the last few games if you look at the stats. I'm sticking with the lads on this one, you bandwagon bitches!

9. That's got to be the last straw. Even the ND Administration must see the writing on the wall now.
Response: A coaching change will hurt recruiting. All the current players were brought in for Coach X's system. We can't afford to start over.

10. New recruits are de-committing and we're getting ripped in the media. The AD had better be working on a solution.
Response: This is somewhat disturbing. Maybe Coach X won't make it. I don't understand it because he said all the right things when we hired him.

11. The AD just said he would evaluate Coach X at the end of the season. I sure hope he is interviewing top shelf coaches right now because we know where this is headed.
Response: I knew all along that Coach X was flawed. I posted about it four years ago but no one picked up on it.

12. Geez, we had better not hire that flash in the pan from Podunk U. Who the hell is accountable for the hiring process?
Response: Coach Q is really a good candidate, and he's the best we're going to get at this point. He's an innovator and a management guru with tremendous upside.

Bridget don't worry about the black spots on the potatoes!

A true shanty Irishman is hopelessly in denial until the inexorably bitter end.

Will Adais be selling Horsebleep Bowl throwback jerseys? *

You can't patent

FLD's biography.

I remember stage one very differently.

1)

Response:

You've only been around for one coaching search

We've done this several times in the last 15 years, sonny.

Fair enough. I was a lurker during the 2005 search.

I do recall that the decision to hire Weis was not nearly as divisive as the Kelly hiring.

It was still a doozy by any objective standard *

With or without the tracking of private jets?

Nonetheless, great effort, sir.

Revised response to #6

We may be losing some games right now, but the important thing is that Coach is building a PROGRAM. You have to think long term, so stop being fooled by a few fluke losses, and get on the bandwagon.

Better nail this to the doors of the Basilica *

I'd say we're at def con 4. *

can we all sway together now?

i feel like swaying.

I'm very concerned

that sparty may disrespect the alma mater.

Kelly's undefeated in bowl games at ND

MSU 38

ND 24

It's not going to get better.

Done. *

Anywhere between 6 and 10 is justifiable

but I wish we were at 11.....

Focus on why #8 is true.

The top coaches can sense that the institution is not truly committed to winning in football. They can sense that this institution's leadership can't handle the truth of what it takes to win in a game like football. Sure, they'll throw money at the problem all the live-long day, but they are so deathly afraid of anything that might tarnish ND's pristine image, that a real football coach is simply out of the question.

If leadership had the right mentality, the nation's best coaches would immediately sense it, and they would fight over each other to coach here. As it is, they would not consider taking this job, with all of its dress-wearing prerequisites.

That post was a magnificent masterpiece, BTW.

Wash, rinse, repeat. *

Jvan is the Messiah!

I should know i've followed a few.

Post of The Year

I can't wait until we start referring to football games

as 'data points.' The death throes are so much freaking fun.

That was one of the best things you've ever written, probably the best thing.

Best thing I've ever read on this board. *

You forgot, "We can't afford to start paying

another ex-coach"

Oh, there are plenty more he could have inserted in there

Somewhere in 11.5, two more responses could go in:

"Why don't we hire Ed Schtookie of NC A&T? His team is kicking ass on Thursday Night ESPN."

"Get Real!! Why would {Name of A-Lister} come to ND!"

We don't watch enough ESPN to know that, Chuck. *

Perhaps you forgot about this. (link)

Click here for link at http://www.ndnation.com/boards/showpost.php?b=hof;pid=1389;d

Board, not site. *

This board needs a psychologist, stat! *

12 stages? Kubler-Ross only had 5.

I can't seem to get past stage 4 (depression).

He's appealing to our irish tendencies. *

Me too.

I keep bouncing around between anger, bargaining, and denial:

Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

I'm still laughing...Is this therapeutic? ** *

Your best work, ever *

When do we get to consult with Bill Belichick?

Or Linda?

So that's what stack overflow means. *

Those can't be real. *

It's the thought that counts. *

Who cares? ......

They're spectacular!

Oh, I don't care, they look good. Just sayin' *

I'll bet she's really smart *

I'll bet she can't dunk, though.

Or sink.

Man Overboard! Quick someone throw him Belichick's wife! *

The roundabouts by the airport aren't that big *

Hi, I'm Korzo78

I've been addicted since since ...... I don't know when. I tried but have never been able to break free and get clean. I am even expecting (maybe hoping is more accurate) that the Irish will win on Saturday and Kelly will turn things around.

If not ...... maybe, we can finally get Gruden ...or Saban. This time, the administration will get it right.

"the lads"

Makes me laugh every single time.

Well, you guys can shut down the board permanently now.

Looks like you've covered it.

say, did you get the memo on the TPS reports? *

Can we color code this? I can't follow numbers, only colors *

The board background could change with the stage we are in. *

Perhaps we could find pictures of people that go with each

stage. Like when the doctor tells my four year old to point at the face that shows how much pain he's in.

How sure are you we aren't at Stage 8? *

I've never been to Altoona. *

Altoona,

Iowa is home to Adventureland and Prairie Meadows Horsetrack and Casino, so although harsh, probably appropriate. Nonetheless, my kids love Adventureland.

Is there more than one Altoona? PA blows *